Nothing Without Him
by nympho18
Summary: Hurt from a past love Serena leaves to find comfort elsewhere. When she finds new love will she wait it out, or run to prevent being hurt once more. SD please RR


I don't own sailor moon.. to bad . 

this is my first story hope you like it.

I walk down the street, a hard murders rain, falls all about me, but yet I feel nothing. It is hard to suppress the urge to run, to find a place of safety. For the possibility of numbing the bitterness in my soul, at which he left me is far greater. As I walk past the many stores on my path in finding solace in the cold blasting rain, I see your face following me. Anger is what I feel, for what gives you the right to look at me in such pity. For was it not you who told me I wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with you. I walk past the store at which you are in, seeing that it is the café that we spent are evenings soaking in the heat from the fire that seemed to always be there even if it was 100 degrees outside. I couldn't feel the biting cold anymore, I had to get out of this and soon before I freeze to death. I laugh at the thought it would be so easy to do something that I would regret later on. I wouldn't let you do that to me, I couldn't let my feelings get the best of me. I had to move on for it was the best thing I could for myself.

I got home not really knowing how I got there on my own, my strength was nearly gone I felt helpless to do anything anymore. I made it to my bathroom where I shed my wet stiff clothing and turned on the shower I needed to warm myself. I cussed myself this was really one of the stupidest things I have ever done and all because of a man. I screamed at myself as I felt hot tears flow down my face. Why my mind shots why did you have to do this to me I loved you I really thought you loved me to. I slowly started to warm, feeling drained of everything. I just wanted to crawl into bed and forget all are memories that we made together. After the water started to cool I got out, wrapped a towel around me, and walked to my living room. I pot on some water for tea, and brought out some leftover pizza from last night to eat for dinner. My mind felt as stale as the pizza tasted, I let the tea warm my insides. Shuddering breaths make there way to my sore lungs as I try to suppress my tears.

Day's pass and still I find myself in my apartment alone not even moving from my room I just shook my head and went back to sleep. Morning comes and I find myself alone once again in my cold and lonely bed after a fitful night of sleep. Thinking it better to leave this drafty apartment then to stay in, and cry all day I get dressed. I had made my decision last night that I would be moving. Now I need to take the time to get what I need to do it such as boxes, tape, foam, and newspaper. I walk out the door and go to the nearest hardware store wanting to shoot myself as I see you talking to the owner. I rolled my eyes and walked over to where the boxes and other things I needed were kept. Picking out 10 big ones, 8 medium ones, and 10 small ones, I moved on to pick out the foam, string, and picked out 4 newspapers. I made my way to the counter to pay for my items picking up a few sharpies that were near the counter. I really don't know what I ever saw in you, you're not the type of person that I would usually date. And then it happened you turned and looked at me with that piteous look. Maybe that's what set me off in the first place you have no right to do so. I kept trying to tell myself that I never did love you, but no mater how many times I tried my heart would never agree with my mind.

I wanted to yell, shout, or just plane kick your ass, but I restrained myself from doing so. I breathed slowly, I didn't need to act anymore stupid then what I already have. The casher rang up everything and placed the items in a bag while I paid him. He just had to make small talk.

"So, what are you doing with all this you goanna put some stuff in storage?"

"No". I simply say

"No, then what are you doing?" I could tell he was confused not a lot of people, who lived here for all there lives move away they, settle down and have a family.

"I'm moving." I grabbed my bag and walk out the door, making my way home.

After hours of packing I stopped to take a break around two in the afternoon, when the phone rang. Aww news travels so fast in this small town I pick up the phone.

"Hello mom." I sigh out

"How do you always do that… never mind what is this I'm hearing about you moving young lady and why didn't you tell me!" Man can she scream when she wants to I thought.

"Yes mom I'm moving. I am 25 years old I don't think that I need your permission to do so." I admit I said it a little bitchy but hell wouldn't you.

"Don't get that tone with me Serena James I raised you better then that. Now tell me your not moving just because Michael broke up with you because that is just plane stupid." Man she's good but I'm better.

"No mom I got a job offer and sense nothings holding me back anymore I wont feel guilty about leaving ok I would never do anything as stupid like that." Did I tell you I'm good or what.

"Well if you say so " why dose she have to be suspicious about everything I say. "So where are you moving to you're not just going to drive around and search for a place that needs a doctor are you." Damn how dose she do it well I can't let her know that is what I am planning to do.

"No mom that would be stupid to do. No I got a job offer, but I'm not telling you because you'll tell everyone." I am so good. "Well I need to get back to packing I love you bye" and I hung up not even waiting for a reply how much do you want bet that she is glaring at the phone right now.

I continued with my break by getting my phone and calling pizza hut and ordering some lunch. I had a 20-minute wait. The time passed rather quickly and the pizza guy came and did he get a surprise due to me forgetting what I had put on after I got back from the store, can you cay sports bra and lace boy shorts panties. The poor boy blushed so hard and stuttered and then he went pale because it was cold outside, I think you can use you imagination as to what happened. I paid the guy 20 bucks and shut the door. It was around 10 o'clock when I finally stopped for the night the packing was almost finished. I sat there for a while getting myself drunk on a near full bottle of wine from my refrigerator. There was a knock at the door curious as to whom it could be I open the door. Can you say shocked, because that is what I was! It was Michael. I hardened my eyes to the fool and held my ground, you will not cry. You will not.

"What do you want Michael." Trying like hell not to burst in to tears.

"Serena can we talk?" Why did he have to come over here hadn't he already hurt me enough as it is.

"I don't believe there's anything we have to talk about Michael there nothing left to say, now if you will excuse me I am very tired and need to sleep good- bye." I tried to close the door but a hand prevented it "Go away Michael please just go away."

"Please Serena I made a mistake I still love you I don't want to loss you please lets just talk I know you hate me right now but I can't live another day without you say you love me to." He said this while working his way in and closing the door behind him, locking it to.

I just stood there in shock questions rolling through my mind. My emotions were getting to much for me a chocked cry left my lips as my body shook to oncoming tears.

I choke out "if you loved me so much you wouldn't of hurt me like this I'm sorry, but I don't think I can ever forgive you now leave me alone I really don't want to see you right now." I try to make it to the door but he grabs me and holds me to him hiding his head in the crook of my neck. I want to shove him away but his hands are around me to tightly for me to get a hold of them. I could fell his hot breath on my neck and it made me shiver I wanted him so badly then warning lights started to go off in my mind while lighting stroke behind me and then I woke up. I guess I went to sleep from drinking last night.

I had just finished packing and was heading out to rent a U-haul. I saw you walking towards me. I just shoved my hands into my coat pockets and continued to my destination as if I never saw you. You turned in to the café without even looking at me. Why must my mind work up these images and then cry out when they prove themselves untrue? I made my way to the local gas station to rent the U-haul, the only place in town to get one might I say and got the large one, being told that it would be dropped off later today. I made my way to the food mart to load up on pre-made sandwiches, pre-cut and washed fruits and vegetables, low-fat chips, yogurt, drinks consisting of water, juice, soda, and milk. I also got a large cooler, three bags of ice, and an air mattress because I did not want to waste all my money at cheap motels along my drive. Lastly a rather sizable amount of reading material mostly being romance novels, but hey I had no life and a pillow and blanket due to I already packed up everything else that's what you get when you don't plan ahead.

With my purchases in tow everything mostly in the cooler I go back to my apartment to see that the gas station owners had already delivered the U-haul and to see my mother, farther, and just about all my friends standing there talking, some holding gifts, others balloons and food. My mom was holding the cake. I even saw my two older brothers with their wives and kids talking with my friends. A sigh escaped my lips as my brother Samuel relinquished the two heavy bags from my hands along with the cooler he looked up at me with heartbroken eyes. I wanted to cry right their Samuel, Andrew, and me have always been close, and for me to decide to move without even telling them. I felt my throat tighten. Unwanted tears flood into my eyes and I looked away from him only to see the sad haunting look Andrew was giving me. Why did my mother have to call up all these people? Did she do it just to hurt me? Or was she just trying to give me a great send off?

I just put on a smile and opened up my apartment to them. While standing at the door "hey do any of you fine, strong men want to help me load up all this stuff." I gave a big cheeky smile when all the guys set what they were caring down and picked up a box as I did and made my way to the truck. It took awhile but we got everything packed and then my mom singled it was time to eat.

It was close to midnight when everyone was gone. I just wanted to burst into tears all over again. I turned off the lights one last time, watching as the darkness settled in my old apartment. As I closed the door, I heard your laughter. I gave up my last hope that you would come to tell me you still loved me. I left not even looking behind me to see the town's light smiling at me, as I ran from the only home I have ever known.

I had to stop to get some coffee around four in the morning. I just went to a truck stop and got something to eat as well. I was sitting between two very rough looking men. I just smiled at the server and ordered the big breakfast. I had made a lot of progress during the night to drive from West Virginia all the way to Illinoisan in only six hours. I just ate my breakfast in silence, paid and left.

Making my way down the Highway I tried to figure where I wanted to be however, all I drew was a blank. I never went this far away from my family before. What was I thinking I screamed at myself? I bet your having a huge laugh over this finally getting rid of me. Like yesterday's trash, well you can rot in hell. I slipped in my Rob Zombie cd and let the music of "Living Dead Girl" wash over me. Somehow I had to get stronger, there's no way in hell I would let you win.

please review thanks.


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